Ellen Hokit (she/her)
MA (Counseling, in progress)
ellen@intrepidtherapy.com
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I’m glad that you’re here. My goal is to create a space with you where you feel seen, and emotionally held. The parts of you that have been quieted, or disregarded for whatever reason, are invited into our space. I hope that for an hour each week, our sessions allow you to let down your mask, release the hard, and messy parts of life you've been shouldering, and grow in ways that are meaningful to you. I offer a real, and authentic relationship where we will both use our emotions, reactions, and reflections as tools. I believe that in relationship, we are able to do real-time, emotional processing, and healing that is often unavailable to us when we are alone.
I am a deeply attuned therapist, and you can trust that I will be there beside you as you take risks.
Unlike older, clinical models of therapy that reinforce a distance between therapist and client, I invite closeness. Every individual deserves to feel that they are truly seen, and known.
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My therapeutic style has been informed by a handful of different modalities and strategies. To understand your story more holistically, I work from a larger lens of attachment and relationships. This allows me to understand some of the unconscious, older patterns of thinking and feeling that are likely impacting your struggle. From there, I pull from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Narrative therapy, and Somatic therapy.
I am drawn to folks who:
struggle with emotional regulation
have experienced interpersonal, or complex trauma
struggle with anxiety, shame and self-doubt
feel stuck in old, harmful beliefs about self and others
I am committed to illuminating, and normalizing the struggles that feel so isolating. There are no wrong emotions, and you are not wrong for feeling them. If you are feeling shame, anxiety, or anything else, there is a reason. Instead of trying to “fix” how you’re feeling, we will work to better understand your relationship with your emotions, and detach from ineffective narratives about them.
At your pace, we will begin to bring to light not only your desires and struggles, but all of the strengths that have gotten you to today.
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What led me to becoming a therapist was a deeply impactful, and course changing therapeutic experience as a client. For much of my early life I struggled with emotion regulation, which manifested in a variety of harmful ways including substance use and disordered eating. I had experiences with providers that left me feeling misunderstood, and at times, patronized. Instead of turning towards others for help, I turned to coping strategies that helped me numb out, and isolate. Eventually, I found Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). The combination of that therapeutic relationship, and the practical skills DBT offers, brought me real, lasting healing.
Struggling with emotional dysregulation can feel like suffering. To then be met with the message that you or your emotions are “too much” can create a deep sense of shame. What I have learned is that regardless of your diagnosis, connection and validation are healing. Many of us are walking around with wounds, or traumas that have been caused or compounded by other people. These wounds cannot be healed in isolation; when we are wounded in relationship, we must heal in relationship.
Our White dominated, capitalistic, logic-forward society reinforces the idea that if you are productive enough, social enough, and successful enough, things will fall into place. This is harmful on all levels, and perpetuates loneliness. Unlearning ideals instilled by society takes time and patience, and love from your therapist.
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I practice from a foundation of attachment and relationships, but the specific tools and strategies offered to you will be tailored to your goals. The ways in which we form connections, and build a sense of self in relation to others, begins at the earliest stages of life. Understanding some of your early in life experiences can help us target what is causing you struggle presently. Your ability to emotionally regulate, be more flexible and less rigid, connect to your body, and much more are all impacted by our earliest relationships.
The therapeutic modalities, or theories that I typically pull from are Attachment theory, Dialectical Behavioral Theory (DBT), and Somatic Therapy.
Diagnoses including, but not limited to Anxiety, Social Anxiety, Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, CPTSD, PTSD are welcome.
Symptoms/Experiences that can be targeted through these modalities: Loneliness, shame, relationships, mood swings, trauma, emotional avoidance, attachment styles, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, suicidality, crisis, emotional distress, isolation, racing thoughts, no sense of self.
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I find that a balance between alone time and social time is important in my own healing. I love to be at home with my partner, and our three kids (cats). I usually have a project going on; most recently I refinished some old furniture. I enjoy cooking, and like to show others my love through cooking and sharing a meal together. Even better if I have grown anything we’re eating!
I practice yoga almost daily, which for me is both a place to ground, and move my body in a way that feels playful.
I also love to be with my friends! I get a lot of joy and connection from being with the people who know me best, and who I can always laugh with. Having meals, dancing, playing games, and hiking are some of my favorite things to do with friends.
Lastly, I love book and podcast recommendations! I tend to reach for memoirs and non-fiction, but would like to expand my library :)
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Online Psychotherapy and Therapeutic Coaching
$40 session fee
Insurance: not accepted
Schedule directly through online scheduler.
If you’re unable to find an available time that works for you, please reach out to ellen@intrepidtherapy.com
